Posts by problemaddict 2

Hey SW (great name). Welcome. The following are my random thoughts, probably can barely be called "advise". Whatever you decide to do, I understand how hard it is and the struggle.

Hey ya'll! I have been lurking for years on this site and others but never had the courage to post anything. Actually I was afraid of posting on an apostate site in the event I was wrong. But now I am convinced that I made the right choice to mentally leave the witnesses. The next step is to physically leave. Gonna be hard since my husband is very active as an elder and everytime I hint about something he asks me if I am reading apostate sites. For example I have been researching about the stance against using blood. I don't think I need to get into details why the JW org has got it all wrong but I secretly tore up my no blood card. When I told my husband that I would take blood he started to cry and tell me that I was one step away from being an apostate and that it would be his duty to report me if I mention this again. Ok so there we are.

Yikes. This sounds familiar. My wife said the same thing, and cried. She is now out. Don't give up, but maybe ease back being overly honest for a bit. His duty to report you.......ugh. Its really a horrible betrayal...but he cant see it.

Now, I'm not going down that road. My whole family are witnesses. It is all I know so getting dis-fellowshipped is not an option. So I am going to do the fade. I have not attended a meeting in about 3 months. No service time, nothing. I still have my close friends in the hall and we do things together and they don't seem to mind that I am inactive. My husband comes home the other day and says the brothers want to meet with me and that it is a shepherding call to motivate me to get back in. He said he has tried his best to encourage me and now the elders would like to visit me. And I am a little bit nervous. I never had the brothers talk to me about anything.

Ok. So i am with you 100%. Don't allow them to disfellowship you. You can refuse their visit, and that is what i would do (am currently doing). Nothing they can do. I am always super nice anmd let them know I know they "are there for me if i need them". Keep in mind.....this WILL get your husband removed. He might be dealing with that right now as well. Just to fully understand his situation too.

What can they do to me if I have not committed any sins? What will they say?

You don't have to sin to be disfellowshipped. If you tell them things that throw up the red flag, they can take action. Officially someone only need not believe the full body of christian beliefs, and you can be DF'd. I mean think about it this way......if they decide to do it.....what could you possibly do about it? This is why its good to not meet with them, considering your plan.

Our daughter told me recently she also does not want to go and I told her we can stay home together. Is being inactive something they can shun me for? My husband said they will remove him as an elder if I do not begin to go to meetings. Is that true?

You have your daughter!! Its more than most get. Embrace it, speak to one another and that way maybe you can keep from blurting out what you really think and feel. Is being inactive something they can shun you for? Look....if you aren't DF'd you will still be shunned by some. I have lost friends of 20 years, and others don't blink and have been good friends. Its really up to the person. So I would say try to spend time with those closest to you only. The surface and ancillary friends.....probably aren't your friends. Your husband will be removed.

Here is where others may disagree with me. What is your marriage to your husband like? You been married a long time? Do you really love each other? Do you communicate well? You may have an opening to have a somewhat honest conversation with him. Better to ask questions that lead, rather than just unload what you believe. But......don't rush that. Just look for an opportunity. For different people, its different things.

Anyone have gone through this already? Thanks in advance ~TD

Yes maam! Going through it with some family members right now......I lost a lot of people in my life in 2015. The religion doesn't let you leave with dignity....so you have the TAKE and HOLD your dignity. Its worth it. :)

73

Im sick of my life

by BlackWolf in

jw
friends

sorry but i really feel like i need to rant right now.

recently my dad was made an elder so my family has been doing a lot more "theocratic" activities lately.

every morning i wake up and put on my itchy dress and stupid makeup and heels and then pretend that i love what i'm doing and that everybody is my friend when in reality i feel horrible and all the other teenage girls at my hall hate me for some reason.

problemaddict 2

BW,

I'm sorry to hear about what you are going through. I have ZERO experience in being a 16 year old girl at this or any other time. So let me just say three things.

1) Get an education. Get good grades, find a dream or something you love that can support that dream, and get educated. Make this a stated goal, so your parents are aware of it.

2) You have to decide if you want to be authentic with your parents about the way you feel (not about the religion.....you probably can't do that), but about being unhappy in life, and dealing with depression. If you and your parents are close, maybe being open with them about this would be good. In the end, it may even help your cause.

3) Get an education. Ok I'm laying it on. But you get it. Do the things that make you happy now. You will find an independent voice (probably at college). Love your parents and give them a break. Learn why this is or os not for you, and try to really have it in mind.

17

Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster ... Yes it's a REAL church.

by SecretSlaveClass in

now this is a church an athiest would be really happy with.

hilarious!.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/flying_spaghetti_monster.

problemaddict 2

One eyed Joe.....that made me laugh out loud.

I too have been touched by his noodley appendage. RAmen!

21

Where the real abuse lies.

by ctrwtf in

jw
friends

let me start with a disclaimer: i am in no way minimizing the horrific crimes done to children by pedophiles.

i'm not downplaying the number of lives lost due to the blood issue, or hearts broken because of shunning.

i do not want to discount the feelings of those who have come to the end of their lives with expectations of paradise postponed.. but to me the biggest atrocity committed by this awful cult is raising children from a small age to believe that soon god will kill billions of people.

problemaddict 2

Its not about what is worst.

But......the fact we could have a legitimate conversation over what may be "worst" among a list of the horrific.....says something already.

13

Haha! New employee has one neighbor who's a "jerk." No surprise here

by stillin in

jw
friends

the neighbor blows his leaves over onto my employee's yard, then denies it.

the neighbor's wife calls the police about anything and everything.. of course they're witnesses.

.

problemaddict 2

If he wants to affect them, he could just see them dressed up going to meeting and ask them directly......you guys are jehovahs witnesses? that is shocking. i thought they were a kind peaceful people.....or some nonsense like that.

the shame function will click in.

56

What made you turn atheist or agnostic?

by LevelThePlayingField in

if you were a jw and are now an atheist or agnostic, what was the tipping point that made you turn to it?.

the reason i ask is i have noticed that many who leave the jw's seem to turn to atheism, versus still having some form of a faith.

have many of you given up on god first or have you had atheistic views first and then found atheism to be true.

problemaddict 2

Here is my personal take on it. I am pretty sure there is not just one answer here, but I have thought about this personally before. I'm agnostic currently.

As a pioneer, servant, part of the "center" of the congregation, what really got me to leave was through time being able to be honest with things, despite where the honesty took me. I had ZERO desire to leave my religion. I wasn't being mistreated, molested, dealt with improperly (yet).......I just wanted to know what was true and what wasn't. So once i got a question about blood I couldn't answer, and allowed myself to research in a way that wasn't just trying to prove what i already held to be true.....the first brick fell.

that enabled me to think for myself. I followed what I found to be accurate, or in some cases personally meaningful to me, wherever it led me. It led me out of the religion of my youth, despite the high cost.

An unintended consequence, is it made me look into and be honest with myself about things int he bible that don't add up.

the flood

Origin of man

The homicidal nature of God

I could no longer just give a pass on these questions. I still question. But the old testemant in particular seems to really just be the writings of an ancient tribal culture justifying its actions through their God. If there is a God and he is loving, he probably doesn't appreciate the bible much. Then again if there is a God and he is loving, and not just waiting out the suffering on earth watching us stumble to improvement through the centuries because of a cosmic bet with one of his sons kids.......you see where I am going here?

I want to believe in more. But just in case I am living my one and only life, I don't want to waste it. And what I do know is that when my loved ones pass......they stop breathing and they are gone. No thinking, no sleep. Just the decomposing of their body that used to hold their thoughts. I have no reason to think I will be any different.

73

Crisis of Conscience- World Wide Cease & Desist

by Newly Enlightened in

http://www.commentarypress.com/copyright/.

.

https://youtu.be/fdzzl453drq.

problemaddict 2

Orphan crow,

I was thinking the EXACT same thing. The shame lies with the person doing this with Cynthia alive while she needed some of it to actually live off of, and it was her husbands work. They "paid" more than any publisher or advocate to write that book. Its a meaningful book, and should be made available to all at very little cost. But it should not be pirated.

I don't know who the original is. I don't know if we are both out of the loop, or if that is something not really known.

31

Wish me good luck...

by FadeToBlack in

jw
friends

omg.

i have the entire service group coming over for dinner on sunday.

i don't mind when my wife has a couple over that are cool, but with more than 2 or 3 extra people in my house i get nervous.

problemaddict 2

Nah. Its your house. You got this. Welcome them, talk to them (not about anything JW related....change subjects), and enjoy yourself. Offer them beers, just be you, and show them you aren't a fire breathing satan worshiper.

Its your home. Your turf. Don't adjust for them. they are just people.

25

Hello

by Lost and adrift in

.just plucking up the courage to introduce myself....living in ireland but from the uk originally.

..drifted away due to depression (from all things truth related lol and bereavements and my m.s husband cheating on me and leaving !!

) few years ago but they recently hunted me down (they contacted me the day my other half was diagnosed with cancer!

problemaddict 2

Welcome. I can feel your pain. I'm so sorry. Its incredible to me to think that I used to justify this sort of treatment of people!

Maybe show them the video of Bro Jackson commenting that elders are not spiritual police that seek out people to enforce rules?

You are better off. I hope your family comes around. More than anything, I am sorry to hear about so much loss in your life.